A Fear of Saucepans

Why is the fear of saucepans so much more common place these days? And why has there been very few expressions of this fear in art or entertainment?

The Amityville Horror House is ON THE MARKET

Yeah, that's right. It's for sale. THAT house. You know the one...

We're talkin' the real house. Not the filming locations. The real deal, folks. Now who wouldn't want to live in a house with bleeding walls? And those windows that look like eyes? I imagine that the Amityville Horror House, even in this economic climate, will not be on the market long.

I mean...you'd have to live on Long Island. So there's that. And you'd have to get used to the flies. But really it's quite a beautiful house. I mean...they thought so:

Right?

(Tip of the hat to Don Hall)

App of the Dead

Our pals at Zombie Command have the skinny on George A. Romero's iPhone app. You heard me.

Happy Birthday Peter Cushing!

Peter Cushing O.B.E. - one of the finest screen actors of all time -  was born in 1913, and passed away in 1994.

And, in this Daemon's humble opinion, the best Sherlock Holmes on screen and TV.

The IMDB list of the 50 best rated horror movies

Rank Rating Title Votes

1. 8.7 Psycho (1960) 137,303

2. 8.5 Alien (1979) 173,346

3. 8.5 The Shining (1980) 169,859

4. 8.3 Les diaboliques (1955) 13,812

5. 8.1 The Thing (1982) 74,815

6. 8.1 King Kong (1933) 37,259

7. 8.1 Rosemary's Baby (1968) 48,245

8. 8.1 Frankenstein (1931) 22,604

9. 8.1 The Exorcist (1973) 98,591

10. 8.0 Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari. (1920) 16,247

11. 8.0 Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922) 28,381

12. 8.0 Bride of Frankenstein (1935) 15,308

13. 8.0 Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) 14,097

14. 8.0 Faust - Eine deutsche Volkssage (1926) 4,330

15. 8.0 Kaidan (1964) 4,010

16. 8.0 Night of the Living Dead (1968) 37,675

17. 8.0 Dawn of the Dead (1978) 41,000

18. 8.0 Shaun of the Dead (2004) 126,093

19. 8.0 What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) 12,007

20. 8.0 Onibaba (1964) 4,023

21. 7.9 The Innocents (1961) 6,507

22. 7.9 Halloween (1978) 61,841

23. 7.9 Repulsion (1965) 12,151

24. 7.9 The Unknown (1927) 2,442

25. 7.9 The Birds (1963) 51,002

26. 7.9 The Man Who Laughs (1928) 1,288

27. 7.9 Les yeux sans visage (1960) 4,448

28. 7.9 Freaks (1932) 13,231

29. 7.8 Evil Dead II (1987) 42,923

30. 7.8 Island of Lost Souls (1932) 1,321

31. 7.8 The Invisible Man (1933) 7,689

32. 7.8 Peeping Tom (1960) 8,835

33. 7.8 Dead of Night (1945) 3,342

34. 7.8 The Haunting (1963/I) 11,179

35. 7.8 The Wicker Man (1973) 19,793

36. 7.8 The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939) 3,608

37. 7.8 Vargtimmen (1968) 4,275

38. 7.8 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931) 3,668

39. 7.8 Häxan (1922) 2,677

40. 7.7 The Others (2001) 83,758

41. 7.7 The Phantom of the Opera (1925) 5,487

42. 7.7 Profondo rosso (1975) 8,591

43. 7.7 Dracula (1931) 12,937

44. 7.7 Saw (2004) 109,275

45. 7.7 [Rec] (2007) 32,213

46. 7.7 Dracula (1958) 5,338

47. 7.7 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) 102,124

48. 7.7 The Devils (1971) 2,752

49. 7.6 The Spiral Staircase (1945) 3,114

50. 7.6 Night of the Demon (1957) 3,432

Kitley's Krypt MYSTERY PHOTO #44

Another week, another MYSTERY PHOTO!

Jon Kitley, pillar of the Chicago Horror Community and head honcho over at KITLEY'S KRYPT, wants to challenge your horror knowledge. Week in, week out, he posts a Mystery Photo - sometimes from an obscure horror title, sometimes just an unusual shot from a well-known classic. We figured our faithful Claw readers would enjoy the challenge!

Our last two photos were from

1) the classic 1978 thriller that begat a billion bastard slasher offspring, John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN


and

2) classically trained Brit actor Frank Finlay in the less-than-classic CTHULHU MANSION (1990), directed by the man who brought you the hysterically awful Pieces, Juan Piquer Simón. (Even Kitley says this one isn't worth seeking out, so don't feel too badly if you haven't come across it...)


Let's see how you fare with this week's selection:



Send your guesses to: jon@kitleyskrypt.com

If you provide the correct answer, your name will be announced next week on the Kitley's Krypt website (http://www.kitleyskrypt.com), along with a new photo. Even if you don't know the answer, we welcome any sorta-kinda educated guess! So, send in your emails today and good luck!

R.I.P. R.J.D.

Ronnie James Dio died this Sunday. This bummed Mr. Morlock out deeply. A little bit of Rainbow and Sabbath therapy helped. Listening to a Dio record is a bit like being fifteen again, sniffing glue and playing Dungeons and Dragons.



From our good friend Pat Smillie ("The Monster Mash" at DEATHSCRIBE 2009): "I refuse to believe that Dio died of cancer. He was eaten by a dragon."

True that. Lot's of unreported dragon attacks out there. And truly, that's the only way to kill the Dark Elf.



So raise a warm can of stolen Stroh's to the man on the silver mountain. The heavy metal firmament has lost one its brightest stars. Now there is only Halford and Dickensen.

"I'm a wheel, I'm a wheel, I can roll, I can feel
You can't stop me turning
I'm the sun, I'm the sun, I can move, I can run,
But you'll never stop me burning"

"Come down with fire, Lift my spirit higher
Someone's screaming my name
Come and make me holy again"

The Torture Garden

I recently discovered "The Torture Garden", a 1898 novel from Octave Mirbeau. I was surprised that I had never heard of it before, let alone read it. And read it I certainly did, with mouth agape. It is apparently one of the most controversial books ever written. From the website Bookkake: "Once described as “the most sickening work of art of the nineteenth century”, Mirbeau’s sensual and disturbing novel follows a young man’s journey to the ends of desire and depravity in a grand Chinese palace garden where torture is enjoyed, and practiced, as a form of art itself."

And Mirbeau prefaces the novel with this ironic dedication: "To the priests, the soldiers, the judges, to those people who educate, instruct and govern men, I dedicate these pages of Murder and Blood."

Kitley's Krypt MYSTERY PHOTO #43

Another week, another MYSTERY PHOTO!

Jon Kitley, pillar of the Chicago Horror Community and head honcho over at KITLEY'S KRYPT, wants to challenge your horror knowledge. Week in, week out, he posts a Mystery Photo - sometimes from an obscure horror title, sometimes just an unusual shot from a well-known classic. We figured our faithful Claw readers would enjoy the challenge!

Our last photo was from none other than Mario Bava's classic horror offering, BLACK SABBATH (1963). Bava teams with Boris Karloff and American International for this well-polished and extremely atmospheric anthology of fright. The first tale, “The Drop of Water,” has a greedy woman stealing a ring off the corpse (from whence our Mystery Photo is derived) she has been called to prepare. Later at her home, someone comes a’callin’. Next, the gorgeous Michele Mercier contends with calls from her dead convict lover in “The Telephone” and finally, “The Wurdulak” has all-purpose AIP hero Mark Damon showing up at a terrified household run by a vampiric patriarch. All the stories are introduced by a droll Karloff with Bava’s exquisite use of light and color are on glorious display.



**DUE TO INTERNET ISSUES BEYOND OUR CONTROL, LAST WEEK'S MYSTERY PHOTO COULD NOT BE POSTED. IN ORDER TO KEEP ON THE KRYPTIC SCHEDULE, WE WILL DISPLAY SAID PHOTO FOR OUR VIEWERS' ENTERTAINMENT, AS WELL AS THE CURRENT WEEK'S OFFERING. TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE, AS THEY SAY**

Last week's:


This week's:


Send your guesses to: jon@kitleyskrypt.com

If you provide the correct answer, your name will be announced next week on the Kitley's Krypt website (http://www.kitleyskrypt.com), along with a new photo. Even if you don't know the answer, we welcome any sorta-kinda educated guess! So, send in your emails today and good luck!

Lifeline Theatre's Neverwhere Blew My Mind With Awesomeness!

Go see it.  T'was awesome.  Like sweet sweet summer action movie *with content* awesome.  Fans of the book will not be disappointed. (I practically squealed when I saw the trolls on Richard's desk.)  The entire production is jaw-dropping gorgeous and inventive in a way that makes me sort of angry at how successful they are...and by angry, I mean really REALLY jealous and amazed at the company's amazing talent and supremely sad that I was not involved. It reminded me of why I do theatre and see theatre: because the magical combination of actors, clever design, and wicked fantastic effects deliver such a body thrill and exciting human connection in a way that goofy 3-D glasses and computer animation never will. I want to stalk this production like a 13 year old Bieber-fan.  I want to hand-embroider pillows with "I heart Neverwhere" on them and bake the cast little cakes in the shape of rats. I am expecting this thing to sell like hot cakes.  Get your tickets ASAP. Horror fans will have a lot of fun at this one as well.  There's some very groovy monster effects, some puppet work, excellent fights, and a rat eaten for a tasty snack. The cast features Wildclaw Dreams in the Witchhouse alum & Deathscribe 2009 Winner Chris Hainsworth as well as sound design by The Revenants and Legion's Misha Fiksel. 

Okay..I have gushed enough for now.  Expect more gushing later.

The Meatlocker

Mr. Morlock: often remiss. Rarely punctual. But when he sees something he likes, he's enthusiastic.

GO SEE THE MEATLOCKER!!



One last show this coming Friday. Bob Fisher's a nice guy, but sometimes nice guys deserve to suffer. So I think y'all should descend en masse and make him try to find extra seating. There really is no better way to see a show than laughing, squirming, cheering and wincing while being mashed ass to elbow with thirty strangers in a dark, creepy basement.

Have said it before, will say it again: absolutely dig what the Mammals are laying down. As awesome as the previous two pieces of the Noir Triptych were (Devils Don't Forget and Breed with Me) this show might be my favorite. Raw, intense, visceral, weird. Poetic words and imagery, but never precious, always gritty and true.

If you don't make it to the show this Friday, Mr. Morlock will accept part of the blame for not having the seen the show him self earlier and evangelizing. But if you miss the show and then do not resolve to keep the Mammals on your radar, then he will hunt down each and every one of your addresses, break in while you're not home and rub rotting flank steak on your pillows.

Vigor Mortis

While reading Grand-Guignol: The French Theatre of Horror (University of Exeter Press - Exeter Performance Studies), I came across this theatre company from Brazil - Vigor Mortis

Splice coming your way...

Splice Indie horror movie darling! Mad scientists create creature. Bad things happen.  Don't play god. 6/4/2010. Be there.

Synopsis: Two young scientists (Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley) achieve fame by splicing human DNA with the DNA of different animals to create a new creature. In the process they ignore their society's ethical and legal boundaries. The scientists name their creature "Dren," which is initially a deformed infant. However, it rapidly develops into a deadly, winged human-chimera.

Rumor has it (from fangoria!) that the director, Vincenzo Natali, has been tapped to to direct Neuromancer...one of my most favorite books evah! this guy directed a pretty spooky weird Sci-fi horror film called Cube.  you should check it out.  I find it very disturbing and goes to show that Canadians can be very scary.

Big Puppets

Been thinking of big puppets lately.


Puppets are spooky.


Big puppets are really spooky.


Been thinking of big puppets in French.


It didn't originally imply melodrama.
In fact, it was intended to be hyper-realistic.


But it always meant gore.


So been thinking...

New Sookie Stackhouse Book! Dead in the Family

Viking Vampires= Yum.  I adore these books.  They are great goofy, sexy beach reads with a dash of horror and a decent sense of humor.  And the vampires don't sparkle.

Pocket Acheron...Sherilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunter Dolls

If you like the Dark Hunter novels by Sherilyn Kenyon, then you might be interested in the new dolls coming out from Integrity Toys.  I saw them in person at C2E2...they look nice but I am trying to resist.

Creepy Spooky Vampire Dolls

Are you temped?...they come in little coffins?...with little death certificates even... 

Who is this legendary horror film maker?