The Attack of the Mini-Views!

More tiny thoughts from a big ego.

Acting is srs bsns.

This week's mini-views are all about movies that smell suspiciously like other movies, intentionally or otherwise. Yes, the Great Horror Film Rip-Off! We love them! We hate them! We love to hate them! Today's (dis)honorees are:

Paranormal Entity: I blame myself for watching this. Anything with a title that's so very close to another existing, incredibly popular film is obviously from The Asylum, a company that thrives on thievery. Take, for example, The Day The Earth Stopped. If you don't know what film they've ripped-off there, get the heck out. Other Asylum titles include Last House on the Right, A Nightmare on Oak Street, and The Wolf Guy.* Paranormal Entity is, of course, a lift of Paranormal Activity, a moderately spooky, found-footage film about a couple haunted by a demon. A lot of the scenes in Entity are directly taken from Activity, including an unsettling trip to the attic, and the part where the door closes on its own. However, Asylum's version adds two elements that some fans want to see in every horror film: blood and boobs. Both are totally unnecessary additions to a story that should work on the bump-in-the-night scare. However, Paranormal Entity doesn't. Verdict: It stinks! Avoid!

The Spell: A 1977 made-for-TV movie starring Lee Grant (The Omen II) and lil' Helen Hunt, The Spell is about a teenage girl who is picked on for not conforming to standards (she's "fat," but that Hollywood type of fat that isn't so much fat but size 6). She eventually uses her psychic abilities to wreak revenge. Hmm. The smell of Chick tracts and burning prom decorations hang all over this one. The biggest difference between The Spell and Carrie is that the girl in The Spell is deliberately malevolent throughout, and she learns to harness her power with the help of her gym teacher (!), who wants to share the power with others. The film concludes with a mother-daughter showdown, but ends with a rather surprising revelation, not a wicked awesome death-by-kitchen-implements. Verdict: Smells like teen spirit! Check it out!

Piranha (1978): The greatest horror rip-off of all time, because it steals while it mocks while it scares. Even the poster art for Piranha takes its cues from the iconic Jaws poster:

They're both about to get it in the sweet spot.

What more can be said about Piranha that hasn't already been said, and probably a million times better? My only comment is this: Jaws 2 should have had flying sharks. Verdict: Smells fresh!

*not actual Asylum titles.

Thursday Mini-Views!

Tiny reviews from a tiny person in a great big world.

Hi! Anna here, with a weekly dose of bite-sized movie reviews to tide you over for the weekend. We'll be looking at three films this week; one good, one bad, and one ugly (awarded to so-bad-it's-good type films).

Avon calling.

First up, the Good: The Wild Hunt, directed by Alexandre Franchi, in which a young man invades a LARPing community to retrieve his girlfriend. Okay, whoa. LARPing? It's live-action role playing, like a Renaissance Faire that is decidedly not open to the public. This film starts out as something between a comedy and what I call a "frustration film," where the main character (as well as the audience) spends a lot of time facing several roadblocks, particularly from his older brother, who is deeply involved in his role as a Viking warrior. But in the final reels, The Wild Hunt shifts gears completely and delves into pure horror of the most terrifying kind: people losing touch with reality. There are several cringe-worthy moments and more than a few scenes of outright brutality, one of which evokes memories of Martyrs. The Wild Hunt gets this week's Three Thumbs Up Award!

Now for the Bad: I was torn between two films to "honor" this week, and since it didn't seem fair to bag on Ted Mikels for The Astro-Zombies (that's like kicking a kid or something), the Three Thumbs Down Award goes to Puppet Master. Seriously, this movie was boring as hell until it was too late, and it didn't make good use of William Hickey. The story has something to do with a group of psychics who are all drawn to this hotel where Andre Toulon (Hickey) discovered the secret of animating dolls...something, something. It's incredibly unclear how these people all know each other in the first place and the puppets themselves don't even do anything awesome until the absolute end of the movie. Total. Snoozefest.

And the Ugly Film of the Week is...Troma's Monster in the Closet! A send-up of monster/alien movies and starring more than a few familiar faces, Monster in the Closet is about...well, a monster that hides in closets and eats people. That's about it. But it's a keenly entertaining spoof, complete with all the familiar archetypes: the scientist who believes he can communicate with the creature, the bullish army general who wants to nuke the hell out of it, and a love story that blooms between the hapless newspaper reporter and the single mom. Also, the titular monster is pretty damn wicked in appearance, for being a guy in a rubber suit. However, the best part about Monster in the Closet is the inexplicable John Carradine cameo early on. When I asked Lloyd Kaufman about it, his response was equally inexplicable:

"When Carradine saw Monster in the Closet, he immediately gave birth to David Carradine."

Err, thanks for the insight, Lloyd.

Windy City Times Review of The Great God Pan

Mary Shen Barnidge reviews The Great God Pan for the Windy City Times. Here's an excerpt:

"Playwright Charley Sherman is still remembered in Chicago for his award-winning page-to-stage adaptations of contemporary creep-lit authors, and his rendition of this period thriller is laudable for its roster of elements associated with the genre: esoteric cult-worship, gloomy abandoned houses, gruesome unnatural deaths, masquerade balls attended by licentious guests, strolls through the fleshpots of fin-de-siècle London, innocent virgins strapped to surgical tables, callow youths driven to ruin by femmes extremely-fatales ( reflecting the gilded age's fear and fascination with the notion of uninhibited sexuality—especially in women ) and, of course, gallons of lovingly-replicated gore.

Assisted by Elise Kauzlaric's superlative dialect instruction, Tom Hickey makes a suitably buttoned-up skeptic to Lily Mojekwu's sensual mystic. Steve Herson projects conviction in the role of the technologist unable to cope with moral ambiguity, as does J. David Moeller's elderly witness whose testimony frames our story, along with an ensemble of actors and designers—in particular, Adam Kozlowski's sound, Allison Greaves' costumes and Ryan Oliver's “biological effects.” Together, they transform what could have been merely a quaint study of prudish Victorian intolerance into a timely lesson for audiences today."

Here's the full review.

"Fantastically Executed"

Killer-works.com is the latest to review The Great God Pan. We love it when the horror fans like the show!

"Fantastically executed... It would be impossible to tell the story literally from Machen's text, but Charley Sherman (adaptor/director) does an excellent job of creating a narrative flow that makes sense. Lighting and sound skillfully move you around the stage, help set the tone and punctuate the moments of tension. The acting is also of high caliber and the female leads Lily Mojekwu (as the many faces of evil) and Michaela Petro (as Mary) are particularly captivating."
-Jude Mire, Killer-works.com (for the full review go to the March 3 page of Killer-works)

"Recommended" ChicagoCritic.com

Another review is in for The Great God Pan. This one is from Tom Williams of ChicagoCritic.com.

"Recommended -

This is a major achievement as a piece of horror theatre...(a) well acted and eerie work (with terrific lighting by Paul Foster with outstanding mood setting sound design by Adam Kozlowski), delivers Machen’s relatively unknown work quite effectively. This production of The Great God Pan is an outstanding evening of horror/mystery theatre. Chicago needs a “horror theatre” and Wildclaw Theatre sure makes an impressive debut in that realm.

Let me state that The Great God Pan aptly explores the nature of evil and the search for evil’s true identity that unfolds with several unique twists. This major work is engaging and scary. The low budget production delivers several well-time moments that make you jump out of your seat. Tom Hickey, Lily Mojekwu and Peter Corey were terrific. Kudos to Charley Sherman for attempting and succeeding with a complex horror classic. I await more."
- Tom Williams

The Chicagoist Review

"Our take: next time you’re in the mood for a spine-tingler, put down the Netflix and give this play a shot. It delivers the guts and gore you crave, and you may actually get blood splattered on you. Score."

-Ali Trachta, The Chicagoist (Full Review)

TimeOut Chicago Review

"If this is the WildClaw standard for horror, we’ll gladly be horrified again."

— Kris Vire, TimeOut Chicago (Full Review)